Don’t just do something, stand there!

…groups, large and small, searching for future states they want to evolve to.

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No wonder people everywhere are so cynical about another meeting, having attended so many they considered poorly led, counter-productive, and time-wasting. The purpose of Don't Just Do Something, Stand There! is to outline the ten principles for structuring and managing meetings. Whether it is a meeting in your community, in a board rooms, with work teams, in offices, schools, factories, or hospitals, Don't Just Do Something, Stand There! shows you how to start leading meetings the right way.

Don't Just Do Something, Stand There!:

• is organized into two major sections:
  1. how to successfully structure and manage meetings; and
  2. shows the keys to managing yourself—illustrating techniques to deal with anxiety, getting used to projections, establishing dependability, and learning to say no in order to make your yes mean anything.
• shows groups how to achieve shared goals in a timely way, manage differences without flying apart, solve problems and make tough decisions, all without inefficiently re-delegating the tasks addressed
• delves into the details of how to structure meetings to greatly increase the probability that people will accept responsibility for their own actions;
• discusses the importance of philosophical perspectives, the benefits of anxiety, and techniques for saying no to unrealistic requests;
• shows how, instead of deferring action until all defects are remedied, one can make structural changes in real time that keep groups whole, open, and task-focused; by learning to help people put forward their best selves in ambiguous situations, one can make a positive ripple in the stream of life; and
• explains and demonstrates when to act and when to just stand there, and in doing so, shows how to change the world one meeting at a time.

Therefore:

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Principles

Leading Meetings

1. Get the whole system in the room
   • guides you to identify the whole system that matters, matching people and tasks, and managing the agenda while at the same time giving people enough time to express themselves; and
   • provides ideas on what to do if you can’t get the whole system, e.g. three by three.
2. control what you can, let go of what you cannot
   • helps you to stay away from micro-managing meetings
   • allows you to still exercise control where it is important; and
   • lets people self-manage when it is better for them to do so.
3. Explore the whole elephant:
   • advocates using our ancient wisdom and systems thinking
   • refers to the poem Six Blind Men and the Elephant; and
   • urges you to use a variety of techniques to explore the ‘whole’ during meetings.
4. Let people take responsibility:
   • provides ideas on how to get people who are participating to take ownership for the meeting and its outcomes.
   • urges you to be patient, let people hold on to their hidden agendas, and help them to self-manage and encourage dialogue.
5. Find common ground:
   • relates to principles that were expounded in the earlier book Discovering Common Ground edited by Marvin Weisbord, to hold off problem solving and conflict resolution and start a dialogue to find common ground.
6. Master allies experience differences:
   • provides ideas to take advantage of alliances that form naturally during meetings to help them become functional subgroups and to experience their differences.

Managing Yourself

1. Make friends with anxiety:
   • provides tips on how best to make use of and manage anxiety that often arises in meetings;
   • touches on another tool from Weisbord’s book on productive workplaces—the four rooms of change.
2. projection alert:
   • advises you to be aware of your projections to avoid getting upset or agitated with things that can happen in meetings.
3. dependable authority:
   • explains the importance of learning the authority dynamics that are played out in meetings;
   • discusses experiencing authority projections, dependency and counter-dependency.
4. just say no:
   • learns to say no if you want yes to mean something;
   • urges assertiveness while not promising more than one can deliver.

Meetings that Matter

Purposeful, interactive face-to-face meetings that matter, that count (resonates with Agile Manifesto).

To help people themselves to:

• cooperate regardless—or because of—their differences by discovering capabilities they did not know they had;
• manage differences without flying apart;
• achieve shared goals in a timely way;
• solve hard problems;
• make tough decisions;
• structure meetings to greatly increase the probability that people will share responsibility.

Participants need to:

• take self-discipline to learn;

As a facilitator:

• lift the yoke of worries about peoples attitudes, motives, hidden agendas, status, and styles.

In meetings that matter, you:

• expect to participate;
• expect to be heard;
• make a difference.

Leading gatherings where diverse people:

• solve problems;
• make decisions;
• implement plans.

Meetings that matter stop:

• wasting people's time;
• cynicism;
• apathy.

Meetings that matter:

• tolerate multiple realities;
• stay focused on goals;
• keeps the groups as a whole, open and task-focused;
• are guided by safety, hope, and friendship.

Work with people as they are, not as you wish them to be. Take people as they are, there are no others.

When facilitating meetings that matter, you:

• manage structure, not behavior;
• match participants to goals;
• invite people to share responsibility;
• pay attention to time and space.

If you manage a meeting's structure, the participants will take care of the rest.

More

• Agile Retrospectives by Esther Derby and Diana Larson.

Source

• bol.com » Sandra Janoff, Marvin Weisbord » Don't Just Do Something, Stand There!.
• http://www.iaf-world.org/Libraries/IAF_Journals/Ten_Principles_for_Leading_Meetings_That_Matter.sflb.ashx

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