Allies experience differences

…dialogue, conversation, discussion, debate on questions that matter. You are doing your best to apply don’t just do something, stand there!.

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Setting up conditions under which every person can be independent of group pressure help identify and integrate differences into a bigger whole, leading to constructive, progressing, energizing gatherings. Meetings that matter.

Forces:

• when people make controversial statements, they risk being ignored, coerced, or attacked, causing them to abandon the conversation and task;
• making sure that nobody becomes a scapegoat for saying something out of the ordinary keeps groups whole and working on their task (witness the TED psi wars about Sheldrake)
• diagnosing a group's behavior is futile;
• only become active in those instances where disagreements might end productive work;
• experience differences as a creative opportunity to keep people working without their having to agree instead of dreading conflict;
• it is our lot to categorize people before we know them;
• subgrouping goes on all the time in the meeting; knowing this phenomenon gives you the leadership options you never had before;
• with a few well-chosen words, you can change a stereotypical subgroup into its functional—contributing to growth—equivalent;
• as long as each person has an ally, people maintain their independence;
• as long as there is a subgroup for every viewpoint, every voice is hear, and people add new information, the whole group is more likely to keep working on their task;
• getting people to differentiate themselves—to heighten their awareness of their differences—holds the key to integrated problem solving and decision making;
• every contribution has value, even though it might not be obvious;
• groups and individuals usually ignore a person's stumbling;

Therefore:

• help people experience functional differences when stereotypes might prevail—group members will take care of the rest;
• Just Stand There as long as people stay with the task by:
  • putting out their own ideas;
  • asking questions;
  • answering questions;
  • asking for or giving information;
  • building on each other's ideas;
• point out if a the flow of conversations flows away for several comments in a row—“Let’s pause and see were we are. I think I’m losing the thread.”
• find anyone who has wandered far alone and is at risk of not coming back, and ask, “I know there is a connection between what you are saying and the topic we are discussing. How does it connect up for you?”

Therefore:

Identify differences, make them heard, acknowledge them, and involve everyone, create subgroups exploring and integrating the differences.

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Key techniques

1. Ask an ”anyone else?” question to acknowledge real feelings and keep everyone included and focused on the task at hand.
2. Explore the field of views uncover a more grounded sense of what everyone considers relevant.
3. Be alert for integrating statement leaps forward to move from either/or to both/and.
4. Run a clarifying go-around to find out what to do next.

Sources

• Don’t just do something, stand there!—Ten Principles for Leading Meetings That Matter by Marvin Weisbord, Sandra Janoff

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