Allies experience differences

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…dialogue, conversation, discussion, debate on questions that matter. You are doing your best to apply don’t just do something, stand there!.

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Setting up conditions under which every person can be independent of group pressure help identify and integrate differences into a bigger whole, leading to constructive, progressing, energizing gatherings. Meetings that matter.

Forces:

  • when people make controversial statements, they risk being ignored, coerced, or attacked, causing them to abandon the conversation and task;
  • making sure that nobody becomes a scapegoat for saying something out of the ordinary keeps groups whole and working on their task (witness the TED psi wars about Sheldrake)
  • diagnosing a group's behavior is futile;
  • only become active in those instances where disagreements might end productive work;
  • experience differences as a creative opportunity to keep people working without their having to agree instead of dreading conflict;
  • it is our lot to categorize people before we know them;
  • subgrouping goes on all the time in the meeting; knowing this phenomenon gives you the leadership options you never had before;
  • with a few well-chosen words, you can change a stereotypical subgroup into its functional—contributing to growth—equivalent;
  • as long as each person has an ally, people maintain their independence;
  • as long as there is a subgroup for every viewpoint, every voice is hear, and people add new information, the whole group is more likely to keep working on their task;
  • getting people to differentiate themselves—to heighten their awareness of their differences—holds the key to integrated problem solving and decision making;
  • every contribution has value, even though it might not be obvious;
  • groups and individuals usually ignore a person's stumbling;

Therefore:

  • help people experience functional differences when stereotypes might prevail—group members will take care of the rest;
  • Just Stand There as long as people stay with the task by:
    • putting out their own ideas;
    • asking questions;
    • answering questions;
    • asking for or giving information;
    • building on each other's ideas;
  • point out if a the flow of conversations flows away for several comments in a row—“Let’s pause and see were we are. I think I’m losing the thread.”
  • find anyone who has wandered far alone and is at risk of not coming back, and ask, “I know there is a connection between what you are saying and the topic we are discussing. How does it connect up for you?”

Therefore:

Identify differences, make them heard, acknowledge them, and involve everyone, create subgroups exploring and integrating the differences.

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Key techniques

  1. Ask an ”anyone else?” question to acknowledge real feelings and keep everyone included and focused on the task at hand.
  2. Explore the field of views uncover a more grounded sense of what everyone considers relevant.
  3. Be alert for integrating statement leaps forward to move from either/or to both/and.
  4. Run a clarifying go-around to find out what to do next.

Sources