Difference between revisions of "Just say no"
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Revision as of 19:34, 29 July 2015
…working and living with others.
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Spending your limited time on the things that really matter creates a more intentional and solid yes, builds trust and coherence.
If you believe that you must keep your promises, overdeliver and treat every commitment as though it's an opportunity for a transformation, the only way you can do this is to turn down most opportunities.
No I can't meet with you, no I can't sell it to you at this price, no I can't do this job justice, no I can't come to your party, no I can't help you. I'm sorry, but no, I can't. Not if I want to do the very things that people value my work for.
No is the foundation that we can build our yes on.
Here are nine practices to say a strategic no in order to create space in your life for a more intentional yes.
- Know your no. Identify what's important to you and acknowledge what's not.
- Be appreciative.
- Say no to the request, not the person.
- Explain why.
- Be as resolute as they are pushy.
- Practice.
- Establish a pre-emptive no.
- Be prepared to miss out.
- Gather your courage.
Say no to all issues that do not align with values, goals and norms—that fall outside the tolerance of your self or your organization.
- To say “Yes” is about quantity.
- To say “No” is about quality.
- To say “No” gives certainty, dependability, safety and sureness.
Approach (similar to consent process):
- Actively listen to the other's question.
- Say “No’”.
- Show understanding for any response or reaction.
- Provide a focused motivation of your “No”.
- Find a solution.
- Track progress.
Therefore:
Listen to the other's request and provide an understanding “No”, along with its motivation. Find a solution and track progress.
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Sources
- Don’t just do something, stand there!—Ten Principles for Leading Meetings That Matter by Marvin Weisbord, Sandra Janoff
- HBR » Peter Bregman » Nine Practices to Help You Say No
- HBR » Ed Batista » Learning to Say “No” Is Part of Success
- Seth’s Blog » Seth Godin » No is essential
- Tim Harford » The power of saying no
- HBR » Ron Ashkenas, Matthew McCreight » The power of saying no