Just say no
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…working and living with others.
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Spending your limited time on the things that really matter creates a more intentional and solid yes, builds trust and coherence.
Here are nine practices to say a strategic no in order to create space in your life for a more intentional yes.
- Know your no. Identify what's important to you and acknowledge what's not.
- Be appreciative.
- Say no to the request, not the person.
- Explain why.
- Be as resolute as they are pushy.
- Practice.
- Establish a pre-emptive no.
- Be prepared to miss out.
- Gather your courage.
Say no to all issues that do not align with values, goals and norms—that fall outside the tolerance of your self or your organization.
- To say “Yes” is about quantity.
- To say “No” is about quality.
- To say “No” gives certainty, dependability, safety and sureness.
Approach (similar to consent process):
- Actively listen to the other's question.
- Say “No’”.
- Show understanding for any response or reaction.
- Provide a focused motivation of your “No”.
- Find a solution.
- Track progress.
Therefore:
Listen to the other's request and provide an understanding “No”, along with its motivation. Find a solution and track progress.
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Sources
- Don’t just do something, stand there!—Ten Principles for Leading Meetings That Matter by Marvin Weisbord, Sandra Janoff
- HBR » Peter Bregman » Nine Practices to Help You Say No
- HBR » Ed Batista » Learning to Say “No” Is Part of Success
- Seth’s Blog » Seth Godin » No is essential